Advice.....

When I was pregnant with my first child

I was given more advice that my poor brain could hold.

-Sleep when your baby sleeps

-They grow up so fast.....enjoy every minute

-There is no such thing as spoiling a newborn....

don't set them down

-Don't eat chocolate when you're nursing....

it'll upset your babies tummy

-Establish good routines early on

-Set a good example to your kids

-Find teaching moments in every day experiences

-Sleepovers are evil...don't let your kids have them

-Have the birds and the bees talk earlier than you think

-Feed them 2 servings of fruits and vegetables everyday

starting at 4 months old and

they'll never turn them down if you are consistent

And on and on and on.....

What ya''ll forgot to tell me....

WAS THAT CHILDREN HIT THEIR TEENAGE YEARS

WELL BEFORE AGE 13

Why did everyone forget to mention that one?

Because it's throwing me for a loop!!

My boys have officially hit their teenage years at age 9 and 11.

I was SURE I had a few more years....but clearly I don't.

It all started in the summer when I overheard them

talking with a friend and saying,
"It's so dumb we have to have our mom's come to the pool

with us! It's not like we don't know how to swim by ourselves!

It'd be WAAAAY better if they weren't here!"

(Clearly they don't appreciate their overly prepared mother being at the pool with them.....re-applying sunscreen every hour, making them drink 8 ounces of water every 2 hours, making them sit and rest for a few minutes every hour so they don't get a muscle cramp and drown, and reminding them not to run around the pool.....I mean GEEZ!)

Then comes the first day of school:

"You don't need to come to school with us. We know what we are doing."

"Yah, just stay home mom. We're fine!"

Then the increased amount of sighing and the rolling of eyes

when asked to lift a finger to help out around the home.

Then insisting on going trick-or-treating JUST with their friends....

and using pillow cases instead of orange plastic pumpkins.

Then came actually having to wake them up in the mornings.....

"Can't I just skip school today?"

"I'm too tired! I only slept for like 3 hours last night!" (riiiiight!)

"It's still dark outside....leave me alone!"

I eventually tried waking them up by opening up their blinds

and singing songs to them.....

Like the one from girls camp....

"Arise and shine and give God your glory....glory!"

They didn't like that ONE BIT!

They out eat Bill and me every meal.

Then comes their blasted Christmas list this year:

#1- A Lap Top

#2 - A cell phone

(In which I replied...."Good try! Maybe when you go off to college....and not a minute sooner!)

I don't do teenagers.

I do babies....and toddlers.

I do diapers, runny noses, cuddling, and reading stories.

I sing songs, play with play dough, and learn ABC's.

I kiss boo-boo's, and encourage sharing.

I watch Sesame Street and I take naps!

I don't do stinky, grouchy, sleepy

moody, stubborn, teenagers!

Especially not at age 9 and 11!!

HELP!!