Some will say I'm robbing my boys of their manhood. I would like to think that without these extreme measures I would be robbing myself of my sanity. Nothing....and I mean nothing.....grosses me out more than cleaning dried pee off the toilet seat....the lid...the floor...the side of the toilet....the "back splash" of the toilet.
I mean...does it really have to get EVERYWHERE!?!?!
I really wanted to write "SIT DOWN...OR ELSE" or "SIT DOWN OR DIE." The word "please" and "heart, Mom" were attempts to calm my frustration.
From the moment my boys became potty trained I taught them to sit down. It wasn't until a few years ago when Bill let them stand up in a gross public restroom that they learned standing up was even an option. I can still remember the look on Madden's face when we came out of the bathroom and yelled with delight...."Mom, Dad let us STAND UP!!" It was like he had done something naughty....but with full-on parental permission. I was so mad, punched Bill in the arm, gave him a dirty look, and said, "Real great babe...thanks a lot! You'll be cleaning the toilets from now on!"
Needless to say, Bill doesn't clean the toilets. At least not all the time. I do. And I am DONE!! I had a half hour lecture with my boys last night, then cleaned their toilet AFTER they were in bed. They left to school at 8am this morning. And what do you think I found after they had left? PEE ON THE TOILET. So....hence the need for my sign. Now maybe in their middle of the night, half asleep bathroom excursions they will remember to sit down.
And if not....so help me...they will have to pee outside.
(But don't tell Madden that because it'll just make him pee all over the toilet on purpose!)
I mean...does it really have to get EVERYWHERE!?!?!
I really wanted to write "SIT DOWN...OR ELSE" or "SIT DOWN OR DIE." The word "please" and "heart, Mom" were attempts to calm my frustration.
From the moment my boys became potty trained I taught them to sit down. It wasn't until a few years ago when Bill let them stand up in a gross public restroom that they learned standing up was even an option. I can still remember the look on Madden's face when we came out of the bathroom and yelled with delight...."Mom, Dad let us STAND UP!!" It was like he had done something naughty....but with full-on parental permission. I was so mad, punched Bill in the arm, gave him a dirty look, and said, "Real great babe...thanks a lot! You'll be cleaning the toilets from now on!"
Needless to say, Bill doesn't clean the toilets. At least not all the time. I do. And I am DONE!! I had a half hour lecture with my boys last night, then cleaned their toilet AFTER they were in bed. They left to school at 8am this morning. And what do you think I found after they had left? PEE ON THE TOILET. So....hence the need for my sign. Now maybe in their middle of the night, half asleep bathroom excursions they will remember to sit down.
And if not....so help me...they will have to pee outside.
(But don't tell Madden that because it'll just make him pee all over the toilet on purpose!)
7 comments:
if you sprinkle when you tinkle be a sweetie and wipe the seaty!!! I caught Jackson standing up and I quickly snapped "oh no you dont.... sit down or I make it so you have to sit!!" and he says "But mommy, I am a man, and my daddy says MEN STAND UP!" Well Jake got punched in the arm pretty hard, and jackson refuses to sit down anymore.... yay for me!! And now Porter, my 2 year old.... not even close to potty trained... will stand up, naked next to the seat and lean forward and the missle blasts off, and pee goes a flyin.... I think I was meant to have girls.... SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!!
Ha! That is funny. If my memory serves me correctly, your brother Cody used to pee outside routinely. 3rd bush from the front on the side of the house in Portland. In fact, we all did that at least once or twice. If Madden does have to go outside, just designate a place for him. No big whoop.
:)
Let's see, first the summer journals now the peeing sitting down. I'm getting nervous that we are raising girly men. Heaven forbid!
ha ha your posts always make me laugh so hard, and they also make me nervous for my future with my boy haha! love it! oh and we did fly jet blue of course:)
Love it!!! Have you seen the targets that float in the toilet that they have to hit when they pee? If they won't sit down anymore, you should consider those.....
Hey, as long as they put the lid down when they are done, I have no complaints! Cleaning up the pee is just part of it. I have 3 boys like you, and I imagine it will get better the older they get...at least I hope it will!
Oh i do love your boy adventures. That is so funny.
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