COACH FRONCE TAKES A SABBATICAL

(You can click on the pictures to see them up closer)

I'm not quite ready to retire and never again coach one of my kids' sports teams, but I AM ready for a break!! I've been coaching for almost 5 months now, (First indoor soccer and now I just finished baseball) and I've learned a very important life lesson during these 5 months. Some of my great personality traits....ie: very organized, over achiever, tries to please everyone, slightly a perfectionist......actually become weaknesses in certain situations. Like trying to coach 12 very active, slightly out of control boys ages 5-9. (I'm rather grateful I never went into teaching of any kind....that would have been BAD!) I always thought I was good with kids....had this magical sort of connection with them. But I'm beginning to wonder if I've just always imagined that and I really don't?!?!

Let me paint you a picture of one of our baseball games so you get the idea....I get to the field and start practicing with the 3 kids that are there on time. The rest come late which instantly gets me fuming....I can't stand starting late! But the funniest part is...I've been late a good...oh...half the time. It's the normal drama that a mother of almost 8 years should be used to by now, but isn't......"I can't find my mitt!" "Where is my shirt?" "I have no idea where my shoes are!" "But I'm still hungry." "These pants bug me!" "I'm too tired to play baseball today!" blah blah blah.

I sit all the kids down before we start and lay out the SAME rules as I do every game.....

-No taking off each others hats and throwing them in the outfield

-No picking grass and throwing it at each other in the outfield

-No laying down on the grass in the outfield

-No trying to stop the other team from running the bases by holding on to their shirts

-Yes you all have to wear a helmet when up to bat so don't try to avoid it

-No fighting over who gets to be first baseman or catcher...I'll make sure everyone gets a turn eventually

-No playing with the helmets, balls and bats RIGHT BEHIND the person up to bat - you'll get hit

-We need a second baseman and a third baseman so someone has to do it....I'll just assign that position

-We don't need all 12 players running after every ball that is hit....stay in your position and if the ball comes in your little area GET IT...but if it doesn't come anywhere near you DON'T try to get it

-And last but not least....sit down and cheer on your team mates when our team is up to bat instead of wrestling each other!! (I know I know - you are out of breath! Me too!)

We start the game - all those rules we just went over go in one ear and out the other. (probably because there were way too many, huh?) I instantly feel like a crazy lady....."Carter, stand up! Madden if I talk to you one more time about throwing grass you'll go sit in the car! No Kaden, you can't be first baseman AGAIN! Jaden and Mason stop wrestling! Give Micah his hat back right now!" My head is about ready to burst, my blood pressure is rising, I'm doing everything I can to not raise my voice at the kids with their parents watching, and I make a mental note to keep that smile on my face and to force a fake laugh here and there. Then so-and-so's dad comes out to the outfield and says, "Hey, don't you want to make the kids play an actual position?" WHAT? There are postions in baseball? Wow...what a great idea! I never thought about trying to get them to play a certain position....thanks for the pointer! Then he goes back to his nice comfy oversized chair and takes a seat and I think to myself...."Thanks for the help man!!" Then make a mental note that next year when I'm NOT the coach....to actually pay attention to the game and find things I can do to help the coach when the kids are out of control! I get the kids back in their positions just as our turn in the outfield is over and we are up to bat. I won't even go into detail about our turn up to bat. I'm sure you are getting the point.....

Finally the game is over....longest hour of my life....I drive home lecturing my boys about how they could show a little support and love to their mom by obeying the rules and being respectful. I tell them I will NEVER be their coach again and that they are DONE playing any kind of sport EVER and that if they REALLY LOVED me they wouldn't act like that ever again. (Bill tells me I'm a little tiny bit extreme in the choice of words I tend to use quite often....and that I make empty threats....I have no idea what he is talking about!! It's a good thing he is usually driving his own car home from the game since he came from work so he doesn't have to hear this conversation TWICE a week!) Bottom line....I'm ready to sit on the sidelines and talk with my friends aga....oh wait, I mean...sit on the sidelines and WATCH my kids play their games. Ya...that is what I'm supposed to be doing! ;)- I'm ready for that again!!