Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Secret

I love to complain about my weight,
but never actually do anything about it.

When I see a cookie, I have 3.
When my kids want fries with their dinner, I think "great idea!"
And then I eat half of them.
When I think "hey, I really should go exercise right now."
I sit on the couch or take a nap instead.

I was always blessed with a great metabolism
and "skinny genes."
I could eat whatever I wanted
and not even have to think about working out.
I'm grateful for that. I really am.
But the problem with those blessings
came the curse that I never learned about
that little thing called SELF CONTROL.

Now that I've had 4 kids,
and have passed the age of 30....
I'm realizing that I really wish I had
learned that important lesson when I was younger.
But, because I didn't...
I've come to the conclusion that trying
to learn how to have self control at such
an old pathetic age....is simply too hard.

So I came up with a better plan.
THE SECRET to my weight loss goal....
(drum roll please)

Is to:
A) Get a boob job.
Because boobs SHOULD stick out further than
your stomach rolls....right?
I think it'll give me a little more "balance" and make those
stomach rolls less noticeable.

B) Grow 3 more inches.
That'll just stretch everything out nicely...
and allow the extra mass to be evenly
distributed to those extra inches.
It'll make everything go UP instead of OUT.

Now....on to accomplish this goal.
WISH ME LUCK!! ;)-

10 comments:

Jill said...

The perfect plan!! I personally cannot wait to get a boob job, I think it's a great investment! And I totally think it makes everything look balanced! But, honestly, I've never even seen a roll on you anywhere!

Elizabeth said...

I have 7 months max left of nursing. Lets go together then. Your treat! I mean if we are cousins we should be equal in that dept.

Erin said...

Chiara-
I am laughing so hard right now. Seriously, boobs are overrated. But maybe fake ones aren't, you might have something there. But a tummy tuck on the other hand...that I could do.

theolsonfamily said...

hey, I have big boobs and I think they just make me look bigger! Well maybe if I didn't have such a big tummy I 'd look better! I can't wait for a tummy tuck and a boob lift!

Lars said...

Brilliant! Can I have your years of naturally fabulous metabolism?! Thanks.

Kristin and Bridger said...

Your posts always crack me up!! I appreciate that especially when i'm up feeding my babe at all hours of the night. thank you for being my entertainment! My dad used to always deacribe chubby people as being a few inches too short, too funny! I think you look great for what its worth! :)

Lindsey said...

a boob job is a great idea! i wonder if dave will go for that... (im sure he will!)

Kelly E. said...

I'll get a boob job with you!!! AND we'll have to throw a tummy tuck and maybe some of that smart lipo too!!!!

Leavitt's said...

If you need a boob job, just go to Victoria's and get the "Gel" bra...yeah the best secret Victoria has! Love laughing with you! Now put that cookie down and get to WORK!

Mr. Haycock, Sir said...

Hey, no more talking about Boobs on this site. Mind your manners.